was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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