im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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