just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I met the friendliest cop last night
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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