i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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