how can u be prego again
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
