Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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