my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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