No stitches, just platelets and will power
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
