i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
