i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize