Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
