hotel room ftw
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
