You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize