Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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