I think my fart just growled at me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
