I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
should my penis look like a turkey
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
