I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
