Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
