Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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