i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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