dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
