So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
