We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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