I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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