What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i dont even know how to be here
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
