I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
