oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
