everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
