You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
