Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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