Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize