I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
