i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
