Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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