I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
