Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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