Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
