Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
