haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
