I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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