Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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