oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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