I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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