Who wears a wallet chain?!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
