she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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