Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I CAN MOONWALK!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
