does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
