I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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