Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
