Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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