they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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