I seem to have left my pride at pride
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
