I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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