hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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