Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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