i don't like sucking hair
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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