someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
