I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
