im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
