I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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