I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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