Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
