I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize