who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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