Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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