Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
