Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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