Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i believe in u and ur pee
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
