dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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