its not stalking. its research.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
