4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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