dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
