Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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