is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
